As the days come and go I find myself becoming more grumpy and grumpy. As school comes closer I start to think of how much work it is actually going to be. And it is scary but exciting at the same time. So much weighs on your mind and you become so unmotivated when now you have so much to do even more than you did before.
These are the times I need to find that place of Peace and just rest there because, without that I would go nuts. And that is something I need to remind myself of rest in his peace that peace that I have found and have been promised. To take things one thing at a time. Things happen in God's timing and not our own. And to not put our hands all over God's plan but let it happen in his timing and everything will go smoothly.
Feel the release in God knowing it is all going to be ok. And he never gives us to much that we can't handle. He is the God of everything and he is not going to leave you feeling stressed and overwhelmed. let it all play out how it was intended and not the way you want it to be. Through his grace we are set free..... so let it be, all the things you have to do and go with the flow.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Free Indeed
This summer has been an extradinary summer for me. Full of learning and listening, full of laughter and tears, and full of smiles and story telling.
I have learned more about myself and others around me. I have seen a different perspective of things and opened up my eyes wider to see a greater outlook on life and on people. As I take those nights for myself and sit in complete silence and just feel at peace. Knowing as hard as it might seem to overcome this mountain that I can do it. That no mountain is to big. That I have a purpose to my life and that peace that surrounds me proves it all to me. Something that might be so small and that I can only feel in that moment of silence.
Is something that changes my future. That peace is not just their for a moment but lasts a life time. When it is spent in prayer. And maybe to some this blog will make no sense what so ever and that is ok because one day that peace will come to you, and until that day know it is their. But when it does come you know that every thing will be ok even when you feel like it could never be.
I have come to realize, I like being broken that it is more than ok to be, despite what our society thinks about that. When you are broken you can only be built back up and built back up is where I want to be. I not only want to be built back up, but this time built back up the way I am suppose to be built. Not from my own hands and creative ideas but from His. You know who I mean, and if not I will help you out this time. God....to be broken gives you a new chance a new life a new perspective a new will and a new fighting power in life for a little kick. To be broken is an opportunity to be molded, molded into something that you are meant to be even before you were born. Like a breath of fresh air to your lungs. Knowing you are living your life the way it was intended. Broken and free......free to be who you were meant to be.....
Their is no better place for me right now to be then to be broken at His feet, ready and waiting for my time to shine as I slowly am being built the way he intended me to be.
I have learned more about myself and others around me. I have seen a different perspective of things and opened up my eyes wider to see a greater outlook on life and on people. As I take those nights for myself and sit in complete silence and just feel at peace. Knowing as hard as it might seem to overcome this mountain that I can do it. That no mountain is to big. That I have a purpose to my life and that peace that surrounds me proves it all to me. Something that might be so small and that I can only feel in that moment of silence.
Is something that changes my future. That peace is not just their for a moment but lasts a life time. When it is spent in prayer. And maybe to some this blog will make no sense what so ever and that is ok because one day that peace will come to you, and until that day know it is their. But when it does come you know that every thing will be ok even when you feel like it could never be.
I have come to realize, I like being broken that it is more than ok to be, despite what our society thinks about that. When you are broken you can only be built back up and built back up is where I want to be. I not only want to be built back up, but this time built back up the way I am suppose to be built. Not from my own hands and creative ideas but from His. You know who I mean, and if not I will help you out this time. God....to be broken gives you a new chance a new life a new perspective a new will and a new fighting power in life for a little kick. To be broken is an opportunity to be molded, molded into something that you are meant to be even before you were born. Like a breath of fresh air to your lungs. Knowing you are living your life the way it was intended. Broken and free......free to be who you were meant to be.....
Their is no better place for me right now to be then to be broken at His feet, ready and waiting for my time to shine as I slowly am being built the way he intended me to be.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
The Power of Prayer
I know a lot of us often forget the power of prayer. I know I do sometimes until God reminds us how important it is just how he reminded the Israelites how sovereign he is. That no matter how many times we mess up or disobey, God will always be their leading us and guiding us we just have to let him.
I find myself lately praying for my friends at home, we are all around the same age and I know we all have our own struggles and I am so thankful for each of them and the way they are so different from one another but yet so similar. I have had many good conversations come up lately where you can just share what has been going on with you lately. A prime opportunity where I got to pour into my friends and where my friends got to pour into me. Which is what I have been praying for and still am. That more opportunities would arise like the ones that already have. And I know that these conversations that come up aren't just coincidences but God working through me and my friends. Because he hears our prayers even when we feel like we are talking to no one.
I find myself lately praying for my friends at home, we are all around the same age and I know we all have our own struggles and I am so thankful for each of them and the way they are so different from one another but yet so similar. I have had many good conversations come up lately where you can just share what has been going on with you lately. A prime opportunity where I got to pour into my friends and where my friends got to pour into me. Which is what I have been praying for and still am. That more opportunities would arise like the ones that already have. And I know that these conversations that come up aren't just coincidences but God working through me and my friends. Because he hears our prayers even when we feel like we are talking to no one.
Monday, July 14, 2008
The feeling of freedom
Today I re-read my blogs today and I have noticed a trend in them ever since being home from school for the summer. A lot of my days consist of having a heavy heart and days where all I can do is think and pray for all of my friends. It weighs so heavy on my mind to the point of tears, and I am not one to cry often.
I know this isn't a bad thing as much as I hate to cry sometimes, I know at the same time they are tears of joy. Tears of freedom and release and tears of comfort. That I want to be broken and built back up in God's image and made into the mold I am meant to be and not trying to be. Having a heavy heart is good it tells me I still have compassion for people. I want to be made in the image of God and have a Christ like attitude and if crying at random times even when I try not to is what it takes then that is fine with me.
I have learned that you can't run from a heavy heart it will catch up to you and break you down. Into the sobbing mess you try not to be. But in the end the results are well worth the tears. Feeling refreshed and brand new knowing that God is using you to change the world around you. Slowly but surely results will start to show when you place your heavy heart into God's hands.
I know this isn't a bad thing as much as I hate to cry sometimes, I know at the same time they are tears of joy. Tears of freedom and release and tears of comfort. That I want to be broken and built back up in God's image and made into the mold I am meant to be and not trying to be. Having a heavy heart is good it tells me I still have compassion for people. I want to be made in the image of God and have a Christ like attitude and if crying at random times even when I try not to is what it takes then that is fine with me.
I have learned that you can't run from a heavy heart it will catch up to you and break you down. Into the sobbing mess you try not to be. But in the end the results are well worth the tears. Feeling refreshed and brand new knowing that God is using you to change the world around you. Slowly but surely results will start to show when you place your heavy heart into God's hands.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Blessings in Disguise
The other day I had the honor and the privilege to be able to serve the homeless people downtown Toronto. Their is not one word or a sentence that I could describe this night in. It was honestly such an amazing time and something I have missed doing. I quickly already forgot the joy you can bring to one person's heart so easily by giving them the time of day.
I know I have said this before, but you never do realize everything you have until it is gone. And probably for some we will never know what it is like not to have everything we want, not need but want. Many people have a really hard time talking to homeless people they find it scary and overwhelming. But they are human just like you are! They have feelings and thoughts and emotions as well. They are not invisible and they do see you when you just ignore them when you walk past them. And they do see you when you just turn your head the other way.
When did our society decide that we are better than them? Enough to turn your head the other way....and not acknowledge their existence? Is my question......How do we have a right as all of us being equal human beings, to categorize ourselves to be better than the other. I have breaking news for you WE DON'T! Our society has made up these standards and levels and appearances that all of us should apparently abide by. And if you can't even afford to buy new clean clothes for yourself. Then you are not worth the time of day.
Homeless people aren't scary they are not going to mug you or hurt you. They just want to know they are loved just like how you want to know you are loved. They want to be smiled at and acknowledged. They want to know they still matter to you even if they can't afford to buy the newest line from a huge name brand.
Put your self in their shoes for just one minute look at your life being the way it is today and one day that being all gone. Yes, I understand some homeless people have chosen this lifestyle for themselves. But just picture this no health care, no family, no home, no food, no clean clothes, no shower, no job and the list goes on......Kind of leaves you at a loss for words realizing you more than likely have all of the above. And how come we can't find it in our hearts to buy a homeless person lunch once in awhile or acknowledge their existence. I am not writing this to make anyone feel guilty but more to open up your eyes, to new thoughts you might of never thought of before.
Homeless people make really good friends, they are loyal and really good at sharing stories. They can make you laugh and they can make you cry. But one of the most important things to remember about them. They can warm your heart with love that they have to share if you let them.
My final thoughts, I find it Ironic that the people who love the most now days and do take time out for their friends. That have so much to give on the inside but not on the outside are homeless people. People we avoid, ignore and now a days our society seems to forget. How Ironic.......
I know I have said this before, but you never do realize everything you have until it is gone. And probably for some we will never know what it is like not to have everything we want, not need but want. Many people have a really hard time talking to homeless people they find it scary and overwhelming. But they are human just like you are! They have feelings and thoughts and emotions as well. They are not invisible and they do see you when you just ignore them when you walk past them. And they do see you when you just turn your head the other way.
When did our society decide that we are better than them? Enough to turn your head the other way....and not acknowledge their existence? Is my question......How do we have a right as all of us being equal human beings, to categorize ourselves to be better than the other. I have breaking news for you WE DON'T! Our society has made up these standards and levels and appearances that all of us should apparently abide by. And if you can't even afford to buy new clean clothes for yourself. Then you are not worth the time of day.
Homeless people aren't scary they are not going to mug you or hurt you. They just want to know they are loved just like how you want to know you are loved. They want to be smiled at and acknowledged. They want to know they still matter to you even if they can't afford to buy the newest line from a huge name brand.
Put your self in their shoes for just one minute look at your life being the way it is today and one day that being all gone. Yes, I understand some homeless people have chosen this lifestyle for themselves. But just picture this no health care, no family, no home, no food, no clean clothes, no shower, no job and the list goes on......Kind of leaves you at a loss for words realizing you more than likely have all of the above. And how come we can't find it in our hearts to buy a homeless person lunch once in awhile or acknowledge their existence. I am not writing this to make anyone feel guilty but more to open up your eyes, to new thoughts you might of never thought of before.
Homeless people make really good friends, they are loyal and really good at sharing stories. They can make you laugh and they can make you cry. But one of the most important things to remember about them. They can warm your heart with love that they have to share if you let them.
My final thoughts, I find it Ironic that the people who love the most now days and do take time out for their friends. That have so much to give on the inside but not on the outside are homeless people. People we avoid, ignore and now a days our society seems to forget. How Ironic.......
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Complaint card please....
Alot of the time in life we complain so much with nothing to really complain, but more feeling the need to talk. Alot of the time we need or should take ourselves out of our own shoes and look at our lives from a different perspective and realize how good we truly have it.
I to, am guilty of this, of complaining over things that are so tiny and don't even matter. We get so caught up in ourselves and our own world that we forget about others in this world. Some that have nothing compared to ourselves. Us middle class people.........average......the regular Joe's.......That is all we might ever be, living by each pay cheque. But we are lucky enough to be getting pay cheques.
We complain if we don't have anything to wear (even though your closet is over flowing), we complain that their is nothing in the fridge (even though it is full of food and their is just nothing that appeals to you), we complain about our friends and their imperfections but don't take the time to realize you are not perfect either.
Our society complains alot of the time without even realizing it anymore, because it has become the norm. Where it is accepted and children have learned you complain, you get what you want. When we should all be taught the lesson of working hard for what you want in life, not complain about it.
Alot of the time we don't realize what we have until it is gone. This is a very true statement. But some people will never be able to understand it, because they had nothing in the first place to complain about. I find more and more now a days the people with nothing to offer that are less than middle class. Are the ones that don't complain about what they don't have. We need to open up our eyes to what our society is turning into, and accepting as the norm. If you have vanilla ice cream instead of chocolate, Well then the world is over. Let's complain about it now......We should be lucky enough to even have those options.
Next time you want to complain about something so simple in life, think twice and realize life is to short to be complaining and especially about something that someone else might not ever have the luxury of.
I to, am guilty of this, of complaining over things that are so tiny and don't even matter. We get so caught up in ourselves and our own world that we forget about others in this world. Some that have nothing compared to ourselves. Us middle class people.........average......the regular Joe's.......That is all we might ever be, living by each pay cheque. But we are lucky enough to be getting pay cheques.
We complain if we don't have anything to wear (even though your closet is over flowing), we complain that their is nothing in the fridge (even though it is full of food and their is just nothing that appeals to you), we complain about our friends and their imperfections but don't take the time to realize you are not perfect either.
Our society complains alot of the time without even realizing it anymore, because it has become the norm. Where it is accepted and children have learned you complain, you get what you want. When we should all be taught the lesson of working hard for what you want in life, not complain about it.
Alot of the time we don't realize what we have until it is gone. This is a very true statement. But some people will never be able to understand it, because they had nothing in the first place to complain about. I find more and more now a days the people with nothing to offer that are less than middle class. Are the ones that don't complain about what they don't have. We need to open up our eyes to what our society is turning into, and accepting as the norm. If you have vanilla ice cream instead of chocolate, Well then the world is over. Let's complain about it now......We should be lucky enough to even have those options.
Next time you want to complain about something so simple in life, think twice and realize life is to short to be complaining and especially about something that someone else might not ever have the luxury of.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Religion vs. Relationship
When are people going to realize that we aren't living for religion but for a relationship. To be able to seperate the two and realize relationship is key and what you practice and beleive in! That we don't strive to be religious but to strive to have a stronger relationship with God.
That even if we don't have earthly fathers that you still do have a father that created you and knows every detail about you inside and out! That we can depend on him in those times of need. When we need comfort and reassurance, just to feel loved that our father is here for us. That we would not be fearful in the world we live but know he is the peace that calms us. That in his presence all fear is gone and where we truely belong.
We were created with a plan and purpose set out before for us, to build that relationship with him that he longs for. To be disciples of his word, to go out there and tell the nations of his great name! To have faith that is unbreakable and we will be made complete and lacking in nothing through him. To have child like faith in Christ where nothing is impossible.
God's presence is not something that you can capture enough in words. The relationship that you share with him will never be able to be summed up in a sentance. God is greater than that and his presence is so overwhellming, whether you laugh or you cry, curl into a ball and weep for hours. Or you stand in awe or dance around. He is not going to judge you but only love you unconditionally! We can not put God into a box and give him limits, their is no limits when it comes to God. We will never have a full understanding of him, but always a mysterty about him and his great workings. That he daily continues to do all around the world!
God is here amongst us whether you feel him or not he is their, the ability to have a relationship with him is their as well. He surrounds us with his love and bless's us with his mercy and grace. Giving us a new outlook on life and a new chance to start over with no strings attatched.
He places dreams and passions in our hearts, and gives us a desire to fulfill them in his name. Where we are blessed to be able to do God's will, and see the nations be saved. Your mothers, your fathers, aunts, uncles, children, grandparents and so on. He has a plan specifically for each of us. Hard to fathom yes, hard to do all the time yes, impossbile never!
With Christ that empty incomplete spot in your life with be filled. Knowing that you have now found what you have been looking for, for so many years now. A new hope, a new life a new relationship. Where God has breathed a renewing breath of life into your life.
Take up your cross daily and follow him.
That even if we don't have earthly fathers that you still do have a father that created you and knows every detail about you inside and out! That we can depend on him in those times of need. When we need comfort and reassurance, just to feel loved that our father is here for us. That we would not be fearful in the world we live but know he is the peace that calms us. That in his presence all fear is gone and where we truely belong.
We were created with a plan and purpose set out before for us, to build that relationship with him that he longs for. To be disciples of his word, to go out there and tell the nations of his great name! To have faith that is unbreakable and we will be made complete and lacking in nothing through him. To have child like faith in Christ where nothing is impossible.
God's presence is not something that you can capture enough in words. The relationship that you share with him will never be able to be summed up in a sentance. God is greater than that and his presence is so overwhellming, whether you laugh or you cry, curl into a ball and weep for hours. Or you stand in awe or dance around. He is not going to judge you but only love you unconditionally! We can not put God into a box and give him limits, their is no limits when it comes to God. We will never have a full understanding of him, but always a mysterty about him and his great workings. That he daily continues to do all around the world!
God is here amongst us whether you feel him or not he is their, the ability to have a relationship with him is their as well. He surrounds us with his love and bless's us with his mercy and grace. Giving us a new outlook on life and a new chance to start over with no strings attatched.
He places dreams and passions in our hearts, and gives us a desire to fulfill them in his name. Where we are blessed to be able to do God's will, and see the nations be saved. Your mothers, your fathers, aunts, uncles, children, grandparents and so on. He has a plan specifically for each of us. Hard to fathom yes, hard to do all the time yes, impossbile never!
With Christ that empty incomplete spot in your life with be filled. Knowing that you have now found what you have been looking for, for so many years now. A new hope, a new life a new relationship. Where God has breathed a renewing breath of life into your life.
Take up your cross daily and follow him.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Faith
Often I find that we get so caught up in our problems and all we worry do is worry about it and we let it get the best of us. When did we loose our faith in God knowing that he is in control of it all.
We have sleep less nights from thinking to much and distractions from our day because we are lost in the world of our own confusion. When there is such a simple answer that we choose to be oblivious to. Lay it all at God’s feet and leave it be. God gave his life for us, and this is one of the reasons why so we could look to him in a time of need and in a time of confusion. To be able to turn to him and be able to feel that release and freedom of the things holding you back.
But still we choose to let these thoughts consume us day and night. We need to realize that life is not all about ourselves and realize that there is way more to live for. Than silly thoughts that can be easily answered. Don’t let time waste away thinking about yourself but give it all to God and let your faith grow.
“He said to them, because of you little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain “move from here to there” and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you” –Matthew 17:20-21
We have sleep less nights from thinking to much and distractions from our day because we are lost in the world of our own confusion. When there is such a simple answer that we choose to be oblivious to. Lay it all at God’s feet and leave it be. God gave his life for us, and this is one of the reasons why so we could look to him in a time of need and in a time of confusion. To be able to turn to him and be able to feel that release and freedom of the things holding you back.
But still we choose to let these thoughts consume us day and night. We need to realize that life is not all about ourselves and realize that there is way more to live for. Than silly thoughts that can be easily answered. Don’t let time waste away thinking about yourself but give it all to God and let your faith grow.
“He said to them, because of you little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain “move from here to there” and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you” –Matthew 17:20-21
Thursday, June 12, 2008
La la la
I often find my self lately getting lost in the music. I know that sounds so cheesy and lame. But you know when you listen to a song and it just opens up your eyes to something you have never thought about before. This is what I am referring to. Some songs just over take you and all you can do is tune out everything around you and just feel so engulfed in it all.
The words and the sweet melodies that are being played. You just feel God's presence all around you and nothing else seems to matter at that time. You are relaxed and at ease knowing that you are more than comforted by our loving King. Often times we sing along to songs and not really even pay attention to what we are singing. Don't let the words of the song be just words coming from your mouth think about what you are singing and let it come from your heart. Get lost in the music and God's presence, and feel the peace of God's love around you.
It is an amazing feeling and makes your day so much better. Having the presence of God with you where ever you go, through something so simple as really listening to a song and not just singing along.
The words and the sweet melodies that are being played. You just feel God's presence all around you and nothing else seems to matter at that time. You are relaxed and at ease knowing that you are more than comforted by our loving King. Often times we sing along to songs and not really even pay attention to what we are singing. Don't let the words of the song be just words coming from your mouth think about what you are singing and let it come from your heart. Get lost in the music and God's presence, and feel the peace of God's love around you.
It is an amazing feeling and makes your day so much better. Having the presence of God with you where ever you go, through something so simple as really listening to a song and not just singing along.
thoughts+friends+love=a great life recipe
Another day where my brain is filled and on overflow of thoughts that seem to be never ending. I learned another life lesson today, is what I have come to realize as the day has wrapped up and I am sure I will continue to learn more about it. I finally understand what a true friend is....
I was sent a package tonight in the mail that I forgot today was the day it was coming. And good timing too! I asked for love to be sent to me but never did I imagine love or friendship to look or feel this way. In the first moment of opening up this package and the excitement of not knowing what is inside is only the beginning. Till you finally get to the core center of it and see how much one individual can care for you, with you not even realizing you have impacted one person this much and vice versa.
So much time and thoughtfulness put into one little box. But at the same time this box was enormous to me, with how much love and care it contained. I couldn't of asked for anything better to finish off my night. Not only did it bring an abundance of tears to my eyes knowing someone in this world thinks so much of you. But it warmed the core of my heart to make me want to continue to be an even better friend! Your actions speak louder than words, in this case my box of love was one of the best actions I have seen take place in a long time.....Thank-you once again for being true!
I was sent a package tonight in the mail that I forgot today was the day it was coming. And good timing too! I asked for love to be sent to me but never did I imagine love or friendship to look or feel this way. In the first moment of opening up this package and the excitement of not knowing what is inside is only the beginning. Till you finally get to the core center of it and see how much one individual can care for you, with you not even realizing you have impacted one person this much and vice versa.
So much time and thoughtfulness put into one little box. But at the same time this box was enormous to me, with how much love and care it contained. I couldn't of asked for anything better to finish off my night. Not only did it bring an abundance of tears to my eyes knowing someone in this world thinks so much of you. But it warmed the core of my heart to make me want to continue to be an even better friend! Your actions speak louder than words, in this case my box of love was one of the best actions I have seen take place in a long time.....Thank-you once again for being true!
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